Written on 10:18 PM by Kristen
Have you ever gotten unfortunately and disastrously lost on the internet, and taken a serious wrong turn down Time Wasting Lane? I clicked on one of my friends' much younger siblings blogs in order to see her latest pregnancy update (shudder), only to see the ever present Mo list of "Me and My Man" themed blogs.
Kami and Kyle,
Jeff and Crystal,
The I'm Happier than you Family,
I clicked on a few links to blogs of people I used to know back in High School, which leads you to blogs of other people you used to know etc... etc.... etc.........
Eventually I just start taking random crapshoots at the names to see if I know anyone else, or if there are any funny pictures. I swear to god the below post is not doctored in any way. Names have been changed to protect the Guilty.
"I found out I was pregnant when I was in Idaho visting my parents back in September. I wanted to tell my mom in a funny way so I knew it had to include my sister with Down's Syndrome, Jenny*. I wanted Jenny* to take the pregnancy test to my mom and just hand it to her and say "Mom, I think I'm pregnant" but Jenny* can never follow directions. She always has to ruin our plans by changing things up and saying whatever she wants which totally ruins the moment"
Wow, I'm so sorry your special needs sister had to go and ruin your perfect life. At least you've found the humor in Down's Syndrome and use it to liven up family events.
I currently loathe the internet. What's the word for being anti-social, but only towards the internet?
Posted in
internet,
stupid people
|
Written on 10:07 PM by Kristen
I don't like new years resolutions. We make them when we're fed up with the previous year, and exhausted from all the holidays and celebrations. A week, a day, or so later you break them and you're right back where you were in 2008 kicking your own (a**).
I prefer an end of January "how's it going" type of reflection. How has 2009 been so far.?
Good:
Joined a gym and went fairly often
Visited my best friends
Got a raise at work
Have a manager that thinks I go a good job, and tells other people too
Baked 3 new successful cookie recipes
Took down my christmas decorations (which were fabulous!)
Had one guilt-free sick day off of work
Finally watched a movie I'd been meaning to watch
Not so good:
Spent a lot, saved a little
Stayed up way too late way too often
Have yet to turn on my old computer, much less transfer the files
My stack of things to file is growing exponentially
Ikea table is still bare and unpainted
Stacks of clean laundry are also multiplying (drawer-a-phobia?)
Still late to work (this may never change)
Not so bad for 4 weeks into the new year. Without the Not So Good list I might become spontaneously conceited or worse.... boring!
Posted in
goals,
holidays
|
Written on 9:37 PM by Kristen
Thanksgiving break is long gone, so are all the leftovers.
My Christmas decorations serve only as a reminder of the psychotherapist jerk at the tree lot who confirmed for me that I wasn't married because I didn't want a tree. The only thing hanging around is a few extra pounds to keep me warm on the odd random cold Texas winter days. Even January is indifferent. Hot... Cold... ehhh who cares?
Never fear all ye inflicted with the January Blues...
Happiness is a boxer on a trampoline.
Posted in
happiness,
holidays,
Puppies
|
Written on 1:40 AM by Kristen
Ok, this may not be the best put together blog on the planet, but it's 2 in the morning on a tuesday night. I have two issues keeping me awake, one is not funny, the other is hil-aaaaaa-rious. I've had a strange unidentified pain in my neck for going on 3 days now. It seems to wake me up around now when the pain medicine wears off and I'm in totally agony.
..."but Kristen?" you ask. "If you're in total agony, how are you writing this fantastic blog?"
Well Friends, we seem to have what is called in the sticks, or Dallas Swat, take your pick, a domestic disturbance! This has awoken me from my slumber a tad earlier than planned, my children of the night.... mwaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaa!!!!
As you may well know, I just moved to a new apartment in the far north of a pretty snobby city. I assumed and expected that this would alleviate the normal pitfalls of apartment life ie... scary people, redneck neighbors and their dogs/kids, yuppie shenanigans.
I came home tonight to find a pretty nice truck with a trailer attached to the back blocking my normal parking area. I parked adjacent to the building on the other side and continued my way upstairs, chinese take out in hand. Up the stairs I go to find a guy approximately my age, two kids that clearly he is NOT the father, and some of their stuff in the hallway. This was about 8pm. When I was ready go to go bed around 10:30 I hear what I thought was a TV program through my window. I listened for a minute, clearly this must be HBO to have such foul language. No wait, maybe MTV based on the education level of the speaker and the slight valley girl speech impediment. Ohhhh sweet mother, it's someone outside!
So I turn my lights off so I can more unobtrusively spy on my neighbors. Where did this trashy siren wench come from? Its as if she was spawned from the trailer under a cold dark night in October to spew forth Righteous Truths. That's right girl, guys are morons. Yell it louder!
Oh wait. She and her husband are both morons. Let down.
They have chosen to yell and scream at each other sitting in the flat of the open trailer, instead of the nice cozy truck interior with the doors shut like normal people. "Not in front of the kids, Honey"
"but Kristen?" you ask, "Wasn't that at 10:30? Why are you up at 2" Well my pretties, have you ever heard a blood curdling scream? really though,,,... and with a raspy voice out in the cold? To the effect of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
This chick is screeeeaming at the guy now. I think he was trying to make her get in the car. She's like "how can you do this to me?" My guess is he broke up with her and was trying to get her to an institution, but I'm no expert. I believe there was a struggle and then all fell silent.
I don't even want to know. I normally woulda told them to shut up myself, but seeing as how they are a few crayons short of a picasso, I opted not to piss off the new redneck neighbors.
Back to bed. Waiting for the Aleve to kick in again...
Posted in
apartments,
illness,
rednecks,
stupid people
|
Written on 9:25 PM by Kristen
Dear Blog,
I promise to blog more as soon as I'm done moving and unpacking.
As a temporary IOU here is a picture of my new furniture.
Posted in
blogging,
furniture,
moving
|
