A night of horrors! oh my.
Written on 1:40 AM by Kristen
Ok, this may not be the best put together blog on the planet, but it's 2 in the morning on a tuesday night. I have two issues keeping me awake, one is not funny, the other is hil-aaaaaa-rious. I've had a strange unidentified pain in my neck for going on 3 days now. It seems to wake me up around now when the pain medicine wears off and I'm in totally agony.
..."but Kristen?" you ask. "If you're in total agony, how are you writing this fantastic blog?"
Well Friends, we seem to have what is called in the sticks, or Dallas Swat, take your pick, a domestic disturbance! This has awoken me from my slumber a tad earlier than planned, my children of the night.... mwaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaa!!!!
As you may well know, I just moved to a new apartment in the far north of a pretty snobby city. I assumed and expected that this would alleviate the normal pitfalls of apartment life ie... scary people, redneck neighbors and their dogs/kids, yuppie shenanigans.
I came home tonight to find a pretty nice truck with a trailer attached to the back blocking my normal parking area. I parked adjacent to the building on the other side and continued my way upstairs, chinese take out in hand. Up the stairs I go to find a guy approximately my age, two kids that clearly he is NOT the father, and some of their stuff in the hallway. This was about 8pm. When I was ready go to go bed around 10:30 I hear what I thought was a TV program through my window. I listened for a minute, clearly this must be HBO to have such foul language. No wait, maybe MTV based on the education level of the speaker and the slight valley girl speech impediment. Ohhhh sweet mother, it's someone outside!
So I turn my lights off so I can more unobtrusively spy on my neighbors. Where did this trashy siren wench come from? Its as if she was spawned from the trailer under a cold dark night in October to spew forth Righteous Truths. That's right girl, guys are morons. Yell it louder!
Oh wait. She and her husband are both morons. Let down.
They have chosen to yell and scream at each other sitting in the flat of the open trailer, instead of the nice cozy truck interior with the doors shut like normal people. "Not in front of the kids, Honey"
"but Kristen?" you ask, "Wasn't that at 10:30? Why are you up at 2" Well my pretties, have you ever heard a blood curdling scream? really though,,,... and with a raspy voice out in the cold? To the effect of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
This chick is screeeeaming at the guy now. I think he was trying to make her get in the car. She's like "how can you do this to me?" My guess is he broke up with her and was trying to get her to an institution, but I'm no expert. I believe there was a struggle and then all fell silent.
I don't even want to know. I normally woulda told them to shut up myself, but seeing as how they are a few crayons short of a picasso, I opted not to piss off the new redneck neighbors.
Back to bed. Waiting for the Aleve to kick in again...
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A drunk man takes 2 full hours of loud pounding and screaming... attempting to kick through the window of a car he passed out in because he can't figure out how to unlock the doors and get out. Followed by screaming once out of the car at his girlfriend who left him in it and now he can't remember where she lives to go inside. But wait- he's crazy drunk and violent so she doesn't want to let him inside anymore.
All underneath my window starting at 2 am.
Ahh apartments
Ahh, I'd almost forgotten about that guy. I'm amazed at his ability to be so drunk and yet have the persistance to succesfully kick out a window. You would have thought he'd just pass out. Girlfriend should have lit the car on fire and then see how long it takes to kick a window out.
No domestic disputes so far in my little apartment, but there is a guy right above me that every couple of weeks or so on the weekend, has what sounds like someone running and jumping from all kinds of elevated areas. It goes on all that one weekend and then it's back to beautiful silence for another couple weeks. I think the guy is divorced and has the kid come to stay. Please, let them get that child some meds soon.