These lips are D.d.d.DAnGeRoUs!
Written on 8:57 PM by Kristen
It's about to be that time people.... Labor Day is coming up. You can no longer sport the white purses, shoes etc.. Being an overachiever I decided to switch out my purse a bit early this year. Also I needed a better travelling purse for my trip to Austin. So I'm at work today with my Pink-ish Kenneth Cole bag from earlier this year, when the after lunch dry lip phenomenon presents itself. I search around in my purse and choose from amongst the billions of different lip products that I carry on a daily basis. (Yes I do need each and every one) I went with the first one that I found, I don't want my coworkers thinking all I do all day is search around in my purse. This day in particular it was the C.E Bigelow Mint Flavored Gloss with a nice reddish tint. No sooner had I applied the lip gloss, than I began to notice a funky mildew-y smell. Something a tad rancid and mixed with a fresh mold. Oh Dear Lord! It was nappy lip stuff gone bad. Of course this is also the day I ran out of Kleenex at my desk, so I'm puckering up and searching for something to wipe it off with. I had to go with the back of my hand because there was nothing available other than my chair. My coworkers might just report me for dragging my face across my chair.
So after work I head straight over to my Belly dancing class I'm taking with a friend. I always get there early and eat because it's way across town. I went to Taco Bell, not the best choice right before belly dancing I know, but it's right there. I got the Crunchwrap thingy which I'd never had before but it was plastered all over the menu. Huge Mistake! Can anyone think of any class of cheese worse than cheese whiz, lower than spray cheese, and which makes Velveeta taste like cheese of the gods? Well this sad excuse for cheese was worse. It was freaking peach colored!. Like cute pastel vomit cheese. Eww. I think it was giving me a cramp during the class. It also had a strange mayonnaise like consistency. Which leads me to Mayo. Does anyone know how or with what do they make mayo? Why does it smell like Sherman TX, or better yet, why does Sherman TX smell like mayo? Why is mayo fluffy, as if it's been whipped, yet have a remarkable likeness to snot? Is mayonnaise a french plot to kill right-wing sandwich eating couch sitting Americans?
Needless to say it was horrific and disturbing. I may have "Lipteria" as my sister put it. She says my lips even have a greenish bluish tint tonight. I might as well go eat some Spam and microwave a fork at this point. 
