Written on 9:52 PM by Kristen
First Class gets warm hand towelettes and a turbulent ride to Hell.
Get a first look at the new scientology "Ideal Org" uniforms. Utopia for the insanely evil and deluded.
When you want to say, "Why yes, I am a flight attendant, but I can still lead anyone with enough cash and fame to a fiery damnation"
I think they really lost everyone with the whole red-lined cape thing. Were they going for...
Modern day warlock?
Hogwarts Hussy?
Criss Angel's bathrobe?
FYI - her shoes kill vampires and the guy on the left has been castrated.
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Written on 10:49 PM by Kristen
Never fear comrades.. it is once again safe for persons of normal temperature to enter my apartment. My apartment handy-dudes came by again to fix the air conditioning after last months book club disaster, and it's been coolin' ever since. I have decided to move, but I haven't told the apartment complex yet. Instead I asked the manager of the complex for some kind of compensation on my electric bills, since the A/C was running non stop. I ended up getting a 150 dollar credit towards August rent. Now I'll tell them I'm moving... mwaaa haaa haaaaa
Which leads to my next story of the time I supposed my car alignment was off, and Firestone said it was not, just that I probably had a wanky tire. So I went to discount tire and told them they sold me a bad tire, and I wanted a new one. When they said they couldnt tell which if any tires were internally faulty, I said, that's OK because I want you to replace the tire on the other side too, since it wore out the tread unevenly. Then they proceeded to spend an hour rotating all the tires around multiple times trying to figure out which one it was so they'd only have to give me one tire.
They sent some poor 16 year old fool to tell me the bad news, that they would only replace one, but really weren't sure which one it was. The young lad had no chance, I argued so well and said I didnt have time to waste to have them keep trying to figure it out, so they better just replace all 3 tires that were worn.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I left that day with 3 brand new tires.
Which leads me to my blog title and ultimate question..... Why can't I ever get a warning from a police officer. I've been pulled over like 7 times probably and always gotten a ticket. Even when I was just barely 16 and my mom was in the car with me. One time I was actually crying real tears b/c i thought my parents were gonna ground me. No Dice. I have no luck when it comes to that. Any tips????
Posted in
apartments,
persuasion,
police
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Written on 10:44 PM by Kristen
Wow, I have lots of excess imagination with nothing to do on a Saturday other than organize my brand new giant box of make up..... 
(insert evil laugh of makeover genius here...)
Posted in
cats,
makeup,
Mary Kay
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Written on 1:40 PM by Kristen
After going to a fabulous Mary Kay party last week , thank you Maigen, I went to the website to read up and see what else was out there....
And I found this!!!
You can try on all the Mary Kay makeup, and yummy lipgloss right there on the website, and apparently change your hair and possible religious/ethnic affiliations. The lipgloss doesn't taste as yummy on the website though. :(
I'm thinking based on the photo below that I need to dye my hair this winter, but that would require an entire wardrobe change as well. I may just have to leave it for posterity on the website instead. I was sad to see they didn't have the Kate Gosselin hairdo for psycho's though. I'll just have to wonder what I look like as crazy.
I wonder if I'll get any offers to be a mail order bride from this????
Posted in
hair,
makeup,
Mary Kay
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Written on 10:26 PM by Kristen
In honor of the next Harry Potter movie, I found this beauty on the inter-web. Somehow reminds me of my Ron dearest and his faulty owl.
Posted in
internet,
movies
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Written on 6:44 PM by Kristen
Don't do drugs.. Especially in your face. That is all.
Posted in
wisdom
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Written on 8:32 PM by Kristen
This is how I've been shocked and surprised today, by things that some of them, I really should just know by now. Others I didn't see coming.
When your 100% socially inept boss's boss stops by the cake for people's anniversaries of working at the company, and he says "happy birthday". Smiles and walks off with cake like a jackass.
When you find out via internet that someone you know probably has fake boobs.
When you know someone has a ridiculously small forehead, either/or too much hair, but you're still shocked to see it. Like it's some circus side show you cant stop staring at.
When you realize why your old college roomate wore 18 virginity bracelets, because you now see her younger sisters wedding pictures on facebook and her younger sister already has a kid. Ohhhh.! Now I get it.
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